Wielding the mighty sword of power

It was 2001, and after three years of cutting my teeth as an Account Executive for CBS Radio, I had earned the honor to call on one of the largest advertisers in the Portland Market, an in-house agency for a very large retailer. I say “honor” with a bit of a wince because this advertiser was notorious for terrorizing their media reps. They had a rule that no rep with less than three years of experience was permitted to call on them. They would rotate calls to media reps on Fridays and put in their order for treats, expecting the rep to drop everything on their whim and go run and buy them snacks and drinks on their dime.

When it came time to negotiate rates, they were grueling. Typically setting the lowest rate on the station, their rate would dictate our Political Rate – how much we charged political candidates for their ads to run. Political candidates are guaranteed the lowest rate on the station, so this negotiation would be extremely important as it could dramatically affect station revenue for the year.

This agency would call, be outwardly annoyed if you took too long to answer the phone, would quickly read the order over the phone (nothing ever in writing), and if they had to slow down for you or repeat themselves, again – outwardly annoyed. They would suck up inventory at the station’s lowest rate, limiting the amount of inventory available to sell at a more reasonable rate. They would spend a lot of money as well, often being the rep’s largest account. In a commission-only compensation situation, this account would be a significant portion of the rep’s income. With the commission based income, and limited inventory to go around, protecting the rate was paramount to everyone’s income.

This agency would conduct annual reviews with their media reps, along with the station’s upper management (sales manager and general sales manager), calling them into a daunting board room supplied with a big box of Kleenex. Most reps would suffer a berating in front of their higher ups and leave in tears. They had a few favorites, and luckily I survived unscathed. However, this experience taught me a lot about how – and how not – to treat people, especially those who you want advocating for your brand.

Using intimidation and fear to motivate others sows seeds of bitterness. This agency would wield their mighty sword of power, using bullying tactics and taking advantage of their position instead of inviting these same people into an authentic relationship with them and their brand.

I can easily imagine a much different story, where this same agency would have nurtured champions for their brand, while treating people with respect and winning them over as co-advocates, receiving fun extras, promotions and opportunities because of how they approached their business relationship – as a partnership instead of a dictatorship.

This is a lesson that transfers over to how clients treat their partners, how agencies treat their clients, how agencies treat third party partners and how employers treat their team. It’s a lesson on how people treat people.

Imagine the trickle down effect that this large and powerful agency could have had on the media landscape. They could have used their influence to demonstrate how agencies should partner with reps, showing reps what is and isn’t okay and demonstrating to other agencies and media buyers how to approach their business to achieve the most success. If this had happened, the reps would have been empowered to teach their other clients how to treat them, setting boundaries and citing this big agency as an example to model after.

Instead, this agency drank the Power-Juice and made others feel small. In essence, they lost their soul to feel powerful and bred an internal culture with the same dissonant tone.

It’s okay to be in a position of power and to wear power lightly. This is sometimes referred to as soft power. Leading in this way can be more effective and not leave hurt people in your wake. Psychologists classify this leadership style as “Prosocial Leadership” which overlaps with “Compassionate Leadership”. Leading with awareness, intentionality and empathy, a Prosocial Leadership style will create an environment where people choose to follow, support each other and share resources – which effectively increases everyone’s self-determination in an aligned fashion and benefits the organization, and the all-powerful leader, as a whole.

If, however, there are intrinsic trust or attachment issues, the risk factors for those individuals will outweigh the reward, and they may try to force their influence. Making people feel weak does not make them serve you more fully, it decreases everyone’s self-determination, which is a lose-lose for everyone.

Invite others to work with you, not for you. Leading with the strategy of power-with-others rather than power-over-others is not competitive, it’s cooperative. This style of leadership reduces stress, improves immune system function and increases overall well-being in both the leader and the rest of the team. This shift in how you talk about your team and your organization, how you work with others on your team, and how you work with clients will build loyalty and trust as well as grow individual ownership in the process.

Now, that sounds like a pretty rewarding thing to be a part of!

When you treat people exceptionally well, and then they uncover the depths of your power and influence, their respect and their loyalty becomes incredibly valuable to you and your organization, and you will have nurtured an authentic relationship that isn’t focused on a power differential. This requires the leader to be confident in who they are and what their core values are, as well as secure in their role. You also have to be comfortable with confrontation, but that’s another article for another time.

As the saying goes, “it’s lonely at the top.” Being a leader can be isolating. So play it cool with the influence you wield, be humble and let others discover you as they get to know you. Invite them in, hear their points of view. Otherwise, you might find yourself in an echo chamber, filled with your own, limited perspective.

Edge is a CUES Premier Supplier Member.