The upside of disagreement

Why teams need conflict to thrive

One of the most unforgettable moments from my time as a vice president at a credit union happened during an executive team meeting with one of the CEOs during my tenure. He was someone who often preached the importance of fostering a culture where employees felt empowered to speak up, share ideas, and take ownership of their roles. He emphasized how vital it was to disagree and challenge the status quo in pursuit of better outcomes. On paper, it sounded ideal. But in practice, it wasn’t always so straightforward.

This is a leader who, at times, was brilliant, strategic, and encouraging. I learned a lot from him while we worked together, but he had a blind spot that kept him from being a truly influential leader—he often lacked emotional intelligence and self-awareness and would become frustrated, overly critical, and even angry when he was triggered.

During this particular meeting, we were discussing a critical issue—something the entire leadership team had a stake in. One of my colleagues respectfully voiced a disagreement with the CEO’s approach. Instead of hearing the perspective of my colleague, the CEO became visibly upset and abruptly shut down the discussion. Without another word, he picked up his notepad, stormed out, and left the room in a tense silence.

For the next three days, he withdrew completely, giving us the cold shoulder and avoiding any interaction with the team. The contradiction between his words about fostering a healthy culture and his reaction to being challenged left us all feeling like we were walking on eggshells. It was a moment that highlighted the gap between what leaders sometimes say they value, yet often don’t practice.

 

continue reading »