The social cost of ambition for women
Bias in the workplace means female leaders have a tightrope to walk.
When I was little, my mom always told me I could be anything I wanted to be, just as I’m sure your parents told you. I remember her saying to me over and over again that I needed to be a strong, independent, ambitious woman—basically, her way of saying “take no sh*t” to a 7-year-old. (Oh, wait … she said that, too.) If I worked hard and always stayed true to myself, I really thought I could accomplish anything and get anywhere. However, this ambition and tenacity we instill in our daughters can be a double-edged sword once they leave the nest and flock into a professional setting.
Unfortunately, an ambitious woman in the workplace is rarely described as just that. Instead, a strong female presence is often degraded, viewed as “bossy,” “intimidating,” or “aggressive,” instead of being celebrated. Too often women are expected to be submissive, gentle, and are told they should be grateful to have a seat at the table. This same tenacity in men is instead interpreted as a positive and necessary leadership trait, something other men should aspire to. There seems to be a tightrope women have to walk between ambition and aggression. It’s a fine line; one misstep can push you off the rope and derail your career trajectory.
The social cost of being ambitious in the workplace can be high for women. Too frequently, when women choose to think big, they are shut out, viewed as difficult to work with, interrupted and suddenly no longer considered a “team player.” The effects of this on women’s confidence and success is huge. Women may lose connections, opportunities and even their aspirations towards a senior management position. According to a study by Bain & Co., 43% of women aspired to be in top management during their first two years in a new job, but after that, only 16% were still shooting for those C-suite positions.
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