There’s a moment in leadership—maybe you’ve had it—where you’re confidently steering the ship in a meeting, all eyes on you . . . and quietly whispering to yourself, “I hope I’m steering in the right direction.”
If you’ve been there, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re doing it right.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the paradoxes we hold as leaders. Not the tidy, buttoned-up version of leadership we like to talk about in bios and board reports—but the real stuff. The both/and. The push and pull. The tension between strength and softness, confidence and humility, urgency and patience.
In a recent episode of The CUInsight Experience, Jill and I had the chance to talk with CUInsight’s CEO, Greg Michlig, about this very thing. The conversation wasn’t about strategies or metrics—it was about how we show up in the messy middle. It reminded me that paradox isn’t a problem to fix. It’s the nature of the work.
Leadership isn’t either/or
Somewhere along the way, we started thinking of leadership as a choice between clear-cut options: Should I be decisive or collaborative? Should I honor the past or drive toward the future? Should I speak up or listen longer?
But that’s not how it really works. The best leaders I know don’t live in either/or—they’ve learned to live in the tension of both/and. They know that clarity and uncertainty can exist in the same conversation. They understand that slowing down can be the boldest move. They lead with vision and admit when they don’t have all the answers.
That’s not indecision—it’s wisdom. It’s awareness. It’s real.
The myth of certainty
In our industry, credit unions—one built on trust, stewardship, and community—we often feel the pressure to lead with certainty. To be the calm in the storm. And yes, people look to leaders for confidence. But confidence doesn’t mean pretending to know it all. It means staying present when you don’t. It means saying, “Here’s what we know, here’s what we don’t, and here’s how we’ll move forward anyway.”
That vulnerability is what builds real trust.
Embracing the tension
There’s a quiet skill that’s becoming more and more critical in leadership today: the ability to hold competing truths at once.
You can lead from the front and make space for others to rise. You can honor tradition and still challenge the status quo. You can be steady and still feel unsure.
In fact, if you’re not holding some of those tensions, you’re probably playing it safe. And our teams—and members—deserve more than that.
So here’s what I’ll offer: if you’re feeling stretched, pulled in different directions, or unsure of whether you’re doing this leadership thing “right”—take a breath. The paradoxes aren’t signs you’re failing. They’re signs you’re paying attention. They mean you’re in it. And that’s where growth lives.
I’ll leave you with this: What’s one paradox you can practice leaning into this week? What tension have you been avoiding that might actually be an invitation?
Leadership isn’t clean or certain or comfortable. But it’s real. And when we show up fully—paradoxes and all—we make room for others to do the same.
