Leading with a heavy heart

Whoever said “Nothing lasts forever” clearly wasn’t thinking about grief. It has a way of lingering, a heavy presence that refuses to dissipate entirely.

Last week, during some time off, I faced a task I’d been putting off: taking down the old swing set in the backyard. It wasn’t just any swing set. It was a gift from my brother to my daughter Bea on her first birthday. He was a traveling welder, proud of his work and even prouder of his nieces. That swing set became a place where Bea learned to swing high, slide headfirst, and create the kind of carefree memories that childhood is all about.

No one could have predicted the profound grief that would eventually become associated with that swing set, extending far beyond its rusted frame. My brother’s struggles with mental health were something none of us were prepared for, and his passing left a void that continues to ache.

As I wrestled with the now weathered and worn structure, memories flooded back. Each creak and groan of the metal echoed with the laughter and squeals of delight, now intertwined with the unspoken pain of a life cut short. The simple act of dismantling that swing set became a reminder that even the most joyful moments can become intertwined with the sadness attributed to grief. It’s a testament to the enduring power of both love and loss and how grief can unexpectedly resurface, creating tears over inanimate objects that time has worn down.

Finding strength in shared human experience

As leaders, we often talk about the importance of empathy and understanding. We strive to connect with our teams and members on a deeper level, recognizing that their financial lives are fused with their personal lives. My experience with the swing set is a powerful reminder that even in leadership positions, we are all human. We all carry burdens, experience loss, and grapple with grief.

It’s important to acknowledge that the challenges we face, both personally and professionally, may feel overwhelming at times. But it’s equally important to remember that “nothing lasts forever.” The intense emotions we feel in the moment will eventually subside and the world is truly a better place with each of us in it.

As leaders, we have the opportunity to create a culture of compassion and support, not just for our members, but for our employees as well. By recognizing the shared humanity that connects us all, we can foster an environment where people feel comfortable seeking help and sharing their burdens.

Strength of post-traumatic growth

While the pain of loss is undeniable, it’s important to also recognize the potential for profound strength and growth that can emerge from life’s hardships. The concept of “post-traumatic growth” suggests that individuals can experience positive psychological changes as a result of struggling with challenging life events.

This growth can come in various ways, such as a greater appreciation for life, deeper relationships with others, increased personal strength, and even a newfound sense of purpose. While the path to post-traumatic growth is not easy, it offers a powerful reminder that even in the face of immense adversity, the human spirit has an incredible capacity for resilience and transformation.

The path forward

• Embrace empathy: Recognize that everyone carries burdens, and create a culture of compassion and support within your organization.
• Acknowledge the impermanence of challenges: Remember that difficult times will pass, and brighter days lie ahead.
• Foster connection: Encourage open communication and create a safe space for people to share their struggles.
• Lead with vulnerability: Share your own experiences with resilience and overcoming adversity to inspire others.
• Prioritize mental health: Promote resources and initiatives that support the well-being of your employees and members.
• Recognize the potential for post-traumatic growth: Encourage individuals to seek support and find meaning in their experiences.

Remember, as leaders, we have the power to make a positive impact on the lives of countless individuals. By leading with empathy, compassion, and understanding, we can create stronger and more resilient teams, members, and communities through every stage of life.

Grief resource that I have found to be very helpful: The Grief Recovery Handbook