Excuse me while I silently scream in my office
I am a firm believer that you need to create a work culture where frustration CAN exist without placing a label on your ability to do your job.
We all have moments within our careers where you must express how you feel EVEN when it is negative.
I picture it much like a tea kettle where you can either listen to the incessive whistle or release some pressure.
Those moments don’t define who you are or how you fulfill your job obligations UNLESS releasing is all that you do.
There is a big difference between releasing the pressure to clear your mind and move forward and complaining without being a key component in the resolution.
There is a delicate formula to being a listener in these situations.
- Listen to what they are saying and what they are NOT saying.
- Ask questions about the information they have given.
- Listen again.
- Ask what a resolution would look like to them.
This allows you to be a safe sounding board for frustration, but also a proactive part of moving this person from the release mode to moving forward with purpose.
I will say, although we have all known someone that complains to complain, more often than not people are complaining to be heard and validated even if just for a moment.
There are levels of complaint intelligence.
You read that right.
Complaining with intelligence.
For instance, when I worked at a toy store as a teenager my complaints were far more complaining to complain based than resolution based.
UGH, they want me to work EVERY Saturday.
Rude!
I mean I still think that’s rude (lol) but understand that there is no positive resolution to that complaint.
I was complaining to complain.
These days when frustrations hit a peak, I like to turn on music, close my eyes, and do a little meditation therapy before reacting outwardly.
Sometimes I need someone to help me release that tea kettle pressure, and sometimes those mindful moments of meditation help me rethink my thoughts on the situation.
Complaint intelligence.
This is your reminder that it is okay to complain.
It’s okay to have a pity party table for one.
It’s okay to need a sounding board.
AND it is necessary to catch yourself when you are spiraling down the rabbit hole of complaining JUST to complain.
Resolution or bust.
